You came here looking for connection and some answers. Perhaps you want to explore how other young widows survived their own loss or you want to know, does it ever get better?
I have been where you are. It was a lonely and grief filled place. As a result, I have made it my mission to help other widows by suggesting that taking action to honor your husband’s legacy will enable you to set goals for yourself so you can begin to embrace life again. What do you mean, you may ask.
We were a beautiful family living an idyllic life in Lancaster, Pennsylvania when cancer derailed us on my husband’s 46th birthday. He died in my arms 18 months later.
Grieving a beloved spouse who dies young is especially tragic. There are so many secondary losses. Unfortunately, you know this. On top of the actual grief of losing your husband, you also lose your partner in running the home, half or more of your income, your fix it guy, the father of your children, being half of a couple and all the social connections that go along with it, to name only a few of your secondary losses. You are also left to figure out how to rebuild your own life- alone. As you gaze ahead to consider the next 40 or 50 years, the task may seem overwhelming. You may wonder how you will ever rise from the ashes. I wondered that too.
Is There Hope?
I longed to hear stories of hope from other widows who were further along. I also read a lot of books on life philosophy as I wrestled with depression and even despair. A line in Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning gave me impetus to reframe my circumstances. “Change the world for the better if possible, change yourself for the better if necessary.” As I pondered this, I also thought about the kind of man my husband was and how I wanted to be more like him in certain ways. Ultimately I decided to honor his memory by doing things that reflected some of the traits he had that I admired. In this way I would change myself for the better as Viktor Frankl suggested.
Discovering New Purpose
Since my husband was an adventurous man who healed others, changing myself for the better meant two things. I would choose to do adventures and I would look for ways to serve in a healing capacity. Looking back I can see that this decision was what helped me begin to return to life. I believe it can help you too.
I have made it my mission to help other widows by suggesting that taking action to honor your husband’s legacy will enable you to set goals for yourself so you can begin to embrace life again.
I’m here to help you do this.
Let’s figure it out together.