My Blog

Reorganizing, Fresh Starts, and Perfectionism

I am giving up a large, spacious house, the place where first we, and then I alone, raised our family. I have mixed feelings about all the levels of being that this move affects. Certainly I will have more time and resources available at my disposal since there will be so much less house to [...]

By |November 10, 2021|Messages of Encouragement|

Moving After A Spouse Dies: Bridges and Changes

My husband died years ago. The impact of his death still affects me most days, completely changing the course of my life, reshaping who I became thereafter and how I think. You probably wouldn’t know it to look at me but it’s the truth. I am aware of an underlying note to my life that [...]

By |October 20, 2021|Messages for Those Who Grieve|

Kintsugi: A Metaphor for Grief & Healing

Kintsugi is a Japanese art form that uses precious metals, like gold, to repair broken pottery. Rather than trying to mend the cracks so that they become invisible, kintsugi highlights the “scars” as a unique enhancement to the design. The use of gold, a metal that ancient Egyptians called “the breath of God,” makes the [...]

By |September 14, 2021|Messages for Those Who Grieve|

Willpower & Grief

The most challenging things we set out to do usually involve willpower. Recently I have been reading about an Olympic athlete, her struggles and achievements. In thinking about her life I began to wonder about that mysterious thing called willpower. In particular I considered what I knew about willpower (not that much) and how it [...]

By |September 8, 2021|Messages for Those Who Grieve, Uncategorized|

Signs From The Universe

Did you ever find affirmation through a visible sign? Maybe for you it was seeing a butterfly against your window, a cardinal appearing unexpectedly, or a rainbow’s glory on a day where everything seemed to go wrong.  For me, finding a four-leaf clover has always brought a smile because it reminds me of my husband [...]

By |August 7, 2021|Messages for Those Who Grieve, Messages of Encouragement|

Grief, Happiness & Purposeful Remembrance

Americans grow up hearing about their fundamental right to the “pursuit of happiness.” The English philosopher, John Locke, originated the phrase that Thomas Jefferson famously borrowed in the Declaration of Independence. You may wonder, how is this relevant to grief? There is a connection because on one hand our culture values happiness as a fundamental [...]

By |August 2, 2021|Messages for Those Who Grieve|

Living What You Write

Last week I wrote about life throwing unwelcome surprises our way and the lessons we can learn from pain.  Minutes after posting it my cell phone rang.  The news I received was gut wrenching, affecting someone close to me.  The irony of the timing could not have sent a louder message.  Writing about how difficult [...]

By |July 7, 2021|Messages for Those Who Grieve|

Moving After A Spouse Dies

When a husband dies there are immediate financial repercussions. Though experts suggest waiting a year before making any major decisions, some things cannot wait. One of these might be whether or not to stay in your present home. For the majority of women, a spouse’s death drastically affects their overall financial situation. Staying in the [...]

By |May 18, 2021|Messages of Encouragement|

Pets Can Help Plug the Hole in Your Grief Filled Heart

There is a shocked silence of the soul after a spouse’s death. You stand frozen, looking down at your bare feet where a thousand shards of your former, whole life lay scattered on the floor. You wonder how you will manage to find a path to safety, clean up the mess and then figure out [...]

By |May 11, 2021|Uncategorized|

The Short List of His Things I Kept After He Died

Sentimentality is an individual preference.  I have a friend who sees love embedded into each trinket ever given to her by anyone, no matter how junky, whereas I appreciate the thought but don’t feel compelled to keep things others give me.  Things do not remind me of people.  This mindset applied after my husband died [...]

By |April 29, 2021|Messages for Those Who Grieve|

What I Know About Death and Regret

I learned the hard way about the sort of regret that can accompany a death.  Three weeks before my high school graduation my mom suffered a massive heart attack, crumpled and died.  I came home from a lacrosse game to find a police car in our driveway, the ambulance having already taken away her lifeless [...]

By |April 23, 2021|Messages for Those Who Grieve|

What To Say When Someone is Grieving

Grief is exhausting.  Part of that is being on the receiving end of comments by other people who have no idea what they are talking about.  Though they may be trying to be kind or offer wisdom, their words can be insensitive, rude or even toxic.  Sometimes all you can do is walk away.  It [...]

By |April 15, 2021|Messages for Those Who Grieve|
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